It's Hard.

       It’s hard.

      It’s really, really, hard. When your mind is saying, yes, yes, let's do it! and your soul is chiming in, this will make you happy; but your body simply replies with the same answer every time, like an old man on the bus who says the same words to the driver every day when he nods goodbye: I’m so very tired.

        I’m sorry, I can’t do it. 

        It hurts too much.

       All I want is to practice the piano, or sew, or take a full-length shower; and if I go ahead and do it anyway, afterward my body is in even more pain— a lot more.

       Then I have to take more medicine,

       and my mind gets even more dizzy, 

       and when my soul says, you can keep moving forward! I want to grab it by its hair and shout and sob and show it the dull, burning flashes of frosty lightning tracing every path my neurons connect to with a silent scream.

       Yet even when tears are streaming down my face and all I need more than air itself is a hug, but I can’t get one because everyone else is asleep— I still hear my soul, quietly flickering away in my shaky heart to keep it warm.

       You will.

   Your will is stronger than fatigue.
   Your hope will overcome depression.
   Your strength will carry your pain.
   Your determination will sharpen your mind.
   Your faith will shape your future, and
   Your soul will keep you warm.

       I hope you have a good day. I'm super sleepy so I'll be watching The Great British Bake-off and drinking plenty of fluids. 

        Love,

          Joelle.

Good God, BAAD Representation.

DEAR

     Anyone who has been hurt by religion:

         I'm sorry. As I've always said, "Good God, baaad representation." But I digress.

         You may have little trust in what men say about their religions. That makes sense, because we are fallible humans who have trouble understanding many things. We will never agree on everything; we will never have the same exact thoughts on things; this is because we are separate minds and collections of experience. I don't wish to argue with you, but I do wish to say that I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to believe.

       Humans commit atrocities. How people interpret what God wants and thinks is what has created so many different interpretations of it throughout the world and in history. Man has often skewed religion to support him in any way possible; even Hitler claimed so, and I'm pretty sure he went directly to the fiery depths after he kicked the bucket. “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorn-bushes, or figs from thistles?" (Matthew 7:15-16) "I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive." (Paul, in his letter to the Romans 16:17-18).

       People who actually follow the Bible are few; it commands us to "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter, in his letter to the exiles 4:8), because "There is only one lawgiver and judge, He who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" (James, to the 12 tribes 4:12).

       I have questioned the Bible in places (and then remember that it was written by man and translated an absurdly high number of times, so how could it be completely perfect? Only God is perfect). I question verses and then do research of the time in which those lines were written; the different translations; and the group of people those writings were aimed toward. Most of my questions have been resolved through this process. The Bible was written to explain things; there is much good life advice in the Bible. I do believe in God, and because of that belief, I have discovered a hope beyond myself that I use in every step of my life. And truly, that's all I need. When I die, I'll know the real answers, but for now, He is enough for me.

         I know you've heard of "mind over matter". I believe in that, and belief in God gives me that helpful push sometimes.

       "Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR?" (Paul again, in his letter to the Romans 11:33-34). This was written as an answer to the very claim that God lets certain things happen, and we can't understand why or how. We try to, which is why the Bible was written, but we can't fully comprehend. The only one with all the answers is God, not man.

With Respect,

Joélle.

Tightropes *Official Audio* | Joélle Étienne

DEAR
     Readers:
          NEW VIDEO!! I spent my blood and tears when writing this song. I hope you like it. <3 Challenge: Let's get this to 100 listens by next week!! Are you up for it? ^.^

With Desperate Self-Promotion,

Joélle.

I LOST MY FIREFLIES.

DEAR
     My two or so readers:
            Hello! How are you? I've been gone far too long. But guess what? I have a new single out, and I completely forgot to share it on my blog! It's called "Fireflies", and I am so proud of it. I'd love if a discussion started on what the fireflies and other symbols in the song might stand for, and what you get from the song itself. Leave your thoughts in the comments, and I'll join in!

   

           If you want to download the song (which would make me jump for joy!), then you can check out all the links at joelletienne.com!

With Hope,

Joélle.

I Can Barely Take It Anymore.

DEAR
     Heart:
           I'm sick. Again. Sick of being sick, sick of my physical body, sick of never having any control over the bimonthly colds I get.

       I'm tired. Tired of being worn out, tired of never sleeping, tired of being an insomniac with an overactive imagination, tired of the daily trials of life.

         I'm finished. Finished with the world, finished with doctors, finished with people, finished with those who spread lies about me fabricating my illness.

         I'm broken. My immune system is broken, my mind is broken, my body is broken, my happiness is broken. I can barely take it anymore.

          So I do the only thing I can; I worship. I pray, I give thanks, I lift my hands and feel the music around me and close my eyes. I'm filled with peace. No, it's not coming from me, it's being given to me. And I know that no matter how hard today, tomorrow, and the day after that will be, I will always be able to find something to give my mind and my soul peace.

           Because like the song says, we are broken together.

With Brokenness,

Joélle.

All Lives Matter- And So Do All Opinions

DEAR
     Judgementals:
            Innocent until proven guilty. Why is that one line so hard to take to heart?

        Our relatives have a very specific view of who they think we are: uptight, condescending, judgmental religious people. During a recent get-together, one of my cousins was discussing her friend’s new boyfriend; she was curious as to what his parents thought about the relationship. She was about to mention the specific reason for it when my aunt shook her head and mouthed, we don’t talk about that here. My cousin then went on to say something about the parents’ religion and how her friend was not of the same religion as her new boyfriend.

          Naturally, I asked what religion they were, as I’m always curious about everything. My aunt and cousin both tensed and exchanged glances, as if they were afraid of something impending. I asked again, and my cousin hesitantly told me that the boyfriend’s family was Muslim. My reply, which seemed to surprise them, was “Oh, yes, their culture does have rules about that.” From what I know of Islamic law, the boyfriend’s family must be much less strict with the rules, as they’re allowing their son to date at all. I’d be curious about the situation if my friend were in the same position, I don’t blame my cousin for wondering. What really bothers me is that my relatives seem to think that my family and I are so judgmental that we’ll explode at the slightest mention of something not in line with our personal views.

            I try to be hyper-aware of how much general society and media condemn Christians; I walk through judgment every day, because I don’t try to hide my religion. The problem is this: just as it is unfair to generalize an entire race or political group, so too is it unfair to generalize a religion. I know I’ll get a lot of flak for this, but saying all Christians are small-minded and disparaging is like saying all Muslims are terrorists, or all black people are violent, or all French people are uptight. And God forbid you’re an African-French Muslim. Or a police officer in the United States.

        The solution to this is to realize that each person is different, and it’s not the amount of melanin in your skin, or the entity to whom you pray, or the place where you were brought up that does any of those awful things we hear about on the news. Each person who did those things made the decision to carry out the actions. Was their way of thinking influenced by the subculture of the aforementioned? Possibly. But those individuals made the decision to hurt others on their own. You can’t condemn the village for the actions of the one.

          Just because I have certain beliefs doesn’t mean that I’m not able to listen to— and hopefully understand— other points of view. This is a concept that a lot of people struggle with, and I don’t blame them. It’s hard to understand things you don’t believe, but you can’t respect others if you don’t try to see the world through their eyes. A diamond wouldn’t be as beautiful with only one facet, would it?

           The world is a judgmental place, because we are humans, and all humans judge. We all have first impressions, and we all cast our stones at the celebrities and politicians gracing the criticism-brimming tabloids. It’s in our nature, just like it’s ingrained in our hearts to protect our own.

With Respect,

Joélle.

YOU'RE GONNA DIE IN SEVEN DAYS!

DEAR
     Worriers:
           Since the beginning of time, humanity has had an obsession with the future. We try to predict the future. We try to control the future. We worry.

            Worry is fear while it is still curious.

           Worry is simply some degree of insecurity about the future. Why is it we worry so much about things we can't control? Why is it we can't simply let go?

       'Since time immemorial humans have longed to learn that which the future holds for them. Thus, in ancient civilization, and even today with fortune telling as a true profession, humankind continues to be curious about its future, both out of sheer curiosity as well as out of the desire to better prepare for it..."

-Rabbi Ronald H. Isaacs

           God gives you next to nothing about your specific future in the Bible. In such an insecure world where there is so much hostility and war and famine and pain, why would God be so vague about our future? Why would God tell us so much about Jesus' future and not ours?

     'Therefore, I tell you the truth: do not worry. Who of you by worrying can add a single moment to your life?'

-Matthew 6:27 NIV

          I think the reason is because we will have trouble no matter what. We will go through difficult times no matter what. Do we really want to know about all of the terrible things to come? That will only make us worry more, and stop concentrating on the here and now, which is what matter most. We will walk through the shadow of the valley of death. I can't speak for anyone else, but I can say that I certainly don't want to know about the darkness in my future. I have a hard enough time dealing with life as it is.

            This is where I begin to come to a conclusion: the goal of this life is not to figure out the future- it is to love. It is to better the lives of those around us. And when you wake up in the night in a cold sweat and feel scared and alone, know that the creator of the universe holds your future in his very hands. He is with you in every moment.

The goal is not to figure everything out. The goal is to know that God will help us through everything.

            Try not to worry. It may not seem like it, but the universe is on your side.

With Hopefully Receding Pensiveness,

Joélle.

PENTATONIX: Yea, or Nay?

DEAR
     Music lovers:
            Pentatonix is taking the music world by storm, and that storm is producing some friction.

           Following the release of their fourth studio album, the self-titled Pentatonix, a slew of reviews came out. While most were very supportive of the a capella group's latest work, some were not, leading to an interesting "battle of the opinions" in the comment sections. One of the more notorious of these reviews is that of Rolling Stone's Brittany Spanos, which begins with the statement "a cappella cover stars try singing original compositions with underwhelming results".

            Considering the fact that most music in today's top charts has relatively lame lyrics, I would say that pointing out how "cheesy" the lyrics of some of the songs in this album are is not necessarily a strong point. I believe that the point of "Sing" (the third original track on the new album) is to be cliché, as the entire song feels like a musical throwback of sorts. Quite honestly, the song that features Jason Derulo ("If I Ever Fall in Love", track 8) is lovely, but it doesn't stand out to me; the main reason it is brought to anyone's immediate attention is because it has a famous name attached to it.

             Then there's the whole "PTX vs Demi" discussion swirling through most of the online forums, which brings me to a tangent. The main problem here is that people forget that comparison is the thief of joy, as the infallible Mr. Roosevelt would say.

            Let's start with this: I love both Demi Lovato and Pentatonix, and consider them to be in my top five when it comes to musical influences. Everyone is discussing how Demi Lovato's latest album "Confident" and Pentatonix's aforementioned album are both vying for the top spot on the Billboard 200 chart, and it's gotten a little rough between fandoms.

             In reply to the people saying Demi put "more work" into her album, I'd say it takes a lot of work for Pentatonix to write, arrange, learn, and put together their music, too. Both albums were mostly written by the titular artists themselves, which is rare in today's popular music world. Also, to people saying Demi is "more talented" than Pentatonix; I, the writer of this article, am a singer, and have covered both groups' music, and let me tell you, it takes a lot of talent, technical know-how, and tons of practice to do what either of them do. It's DIFFICULT, to say the least. Demi and PTX worked hard, and have gone through a lot to get where they are, and I deeply respect both musical artists.

             To bring this full circle, I think Pentatonix's new album is a nice mix of genres and sounds, and it's great that a capella is getting so much more attention in mainstream media. The fact that no a capella group has really gotten so much attention before is causing a lot of interesting friction, and it's nice to see that many music lovers are expanding their horizons. The point of Pentatonix is to be able to spread the love of music, and blend, seperate, and use technicalities of the voice to create one full sound-- and I think they're definitely well on their way to that goal.

[Official Video] Sing -- Pentatonix

With Feeling,

Joélle.

Lost In Translation

DEAR
      Young adults:
                It's hard to stop trying to find validation through others.

               It's hard when you know you have worked every day, every year, and you try and fail over and over again. It's hard to pick yourself up and keep going after every fall. It's hard when you finally get somewhere, only to be ignored by the very people you are trying to impress.

           I'm turning twenty-one in two weeks, and I still have no idea what I am supposed to do with my life. I sing, I write, I draw, I paint, I create. And yet, I have no understood purpose in life; no path to follow. All I know is that I will not be able to move through life unless I continue to create.

             I feel like someone has put me in a helicopter, flown me out to sea, and dropped me in the center of a vast ocean. There is nothing in sight. I do not know what is beneath me. I can't see anything coming toward me. I am struggling to stay above the waves. There is nothing to swim toward, nothing to measure against. I am alone.

           The only thing that I know is there is the sky, but even the sky changes. Sometimes it's filled with light, and sometimes it's dark. Sometimes I see the stars and the moon, and sometimes it's raining, and I cry along with the clouds. The only constant is the rising and setting of the sun, even if it's obscured, because I know it's there.

             What I'm trying to say is, my life is the ocean, and this is how I feel. I am overwhelmed and lost, and the only thing I know for certain is that God, the sun, is somewhere nearby.

           I don't know how to end this post, because I am so tired and sad and emotionally dry right now. I suppose I simply wanted to write out my state of mind.

                It's storming in the sea of my mind right now, and I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Normally, I'd post something positive about how to get out of the storm, but I have to admit that I can't get out of mine right now. I think it's time I admitted that I am just as lost and broken as so many other people, and I simply needed to share my turmoil. Maybe we can help each other.

                 Da duit.

With I Can't Even Right Now (Seriously),

Joélle.