It's Hard.

       It’s hard.

      It’s really, really, hard. When your mind is saying, yes, yes, let's do it! and your soul is chiming in, this will make you happy; but your body simply replies with the same answer every time, like an old man on the bus who says the same words to the driver every day when he nods goodbye: I’m so very tired.

        I’m sorry, I can’t do it. 

        It hurts too much.

       All I want is to practice the piano, or sew, or take a full-length shower; and if I go ahead and do it anyway, afterward my body is in even more pain— a lot more.

       Then I have to take more medicine,

       and my mind gets even more dizzy, 

       and when my soul says, you can keep moving forward! I want to grab it by its hair and shout and sob and show it the dull, burning flashes of frosty lightning tracing every path my neurons connect to with a silent scream.

       Yet even when tears are streaming down my face and all I need more than air itself is a hug, but I can’t get one because everyone else is asleep— I still hear my soul, quietly flickering away in my shaky heart to keep it warm.

       You will.

   Your will is stronger than fatigue.
   Your hope will overcome depression.
   Your strength will carry your pain.
   Your determination will sharpen your mind.
   Your faith will shape your future, and
   Your soul will keep you warm.

       I hope you have a good day. I'm super sleepy so I'll be watching The Great British Bake-off and drinking plenty of fluids. 

        Love,

          Joelle.

Good God, BAAD Representation.

DEAR

     Anyone who has been hurt by religion:

         I'm sorry. As I've always said, "Good God, baaad representation." But I digress.

         You may have little trust in what men say about their religions. That makes sense, because we are fallible humans who have trouble understanding many things. We will never agree on everything; we will never have the same exact thoughts on things; this is because we are separate minds and collections of experience. I don't wish to argue with you, but I do wish to say that I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to believe.

       Humans commit atrocities. How people interpret what God wants and thinks is what has created so many different interpretations of it throughout the world and in history. Man has often skewed religion to support him in any way possible; even Hitler claimed so, and I'm pretty sure he went directly to the fiery depths after he kicked the bucket. “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorn-bushes, or figs from thistles?" (Matthew 7:15-16) "I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive." (Paul, in his letter to the Romans 16:17-18).

       People who actually follow the Bible are few; it commands us to "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter, in his letter to the exiles 4:8), because "There is only one lawgiver and judge, He who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" (James, to the 12 tribes 4:12).

       I have questioned the Bible in places (and then remember that it was written by man and translated an absurdly high number of times, so how could it be completely perfect? Only God is perfect). I question verses and then do research of the time in which those lines were written; the different translations; and the group of people those writings were aimed toward. Most of my questions have been resolved through this process. The Bible was written to explain things; there is much good life advice in the Bible. I do believe in God, and because of that belief, I have discovered a hope beyond myself that I use in every step of my life. And truly, that's all I need. When I die, I'll know the real answers, but for now, He is enough for me.

         I know you've heard of "mind over matter". I believe in that, and belief in God gives me that helpful push sometimes.

       "Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR?" (Paul again, in his letter to the Romans 11:33-34). This was written as an answer to the very claim that God lets certain things happen, and we can't understand why or how. We try to, which is why the Bible was written, but we can't fully comprehend. The only one with all the answers is God, not man.

With Respect,

Joélle.