It's Hard.

       It’s hard.

      It’s really, really, hard. When your mind is saying, yes, yes, let's do it! and your soul is chiming in, this will make you happy; but your body simply replies with the same answer every time, like an old man on the bus who says the same words to the driver every day when he nods goodbye: I’m so very tired.

        I’m sorry, I can’t do it. 

        It hurts too much.

       All I want is to practice the piano, or sew, or take a full-length shower; and if I go ahead and do it anyway, afterward my body is in even more pain— a lot more.

       Then I have to take more medicine,

       and my mind gets even more dizzy, 

       and when my soul says, you can keep moving forward! I want to grab it by its hair and shout and sob and show it the dull, burning flashes of frosty lightning tracing every path my neurons connect to with a silent scream.

       Yet even when tears are streaming down my face and all I need more than air itself is a hug, but I can’t get one because everyone else is asleep— I still hear my soul, quietly flickering away in my shaky heart to keep it warm.

       You will.

   Your will is stronger than fatigue.
   Your hope will overcome depression.
   Your strength will carry your pain.
   Your determination will sharpen your mind.
   Your faith will shape your future, and
   Your soul will keep you warm.

       I hope you have a good day. I'm super sleepy so I'll be watching The Great British Bake-off and drinking plenty of fluids. 

        Love,

          Joelle.

All Lives Matter- And So Do All Opinions

DEAR
     Judgementals:
            Innocent until proven guilty. Why is that one line so hard to take to heart?

        Our relatives have a very specific view of who they think we are: uptight, condescending, judgmental religious people. During a recent get-together, one of my cousins was discussing her friend’s new boyfriend; she was curious as to what his parents thought about the relationship. She was about to mention the specific reason for it when my aunt shook her head and mouthed, we don’t talk about that here. My cousin then went on to say something about the parents’ religion and how her friend was not of the same religion as her new boyfriend.

          Naturally, I asked what religion they were, as I’m always curious about everything. My aunt and cousin both tensed and exchanged glances, as if they were afraid of something impending. I asked again, and my cousin hesitantly told me that the boyfriend’s family was Muslim. My reply, which seemed to surprise them, was “Oh, yes, their culture does have rules about that.” From what I know of Islamic law, the boyfriend’s family must be much less strict with the rules, as they’re allowing their son to date at all. I’d be curious about the situation if my friend were in the same position, I don’t blame my cousin for wondering. What really bothers me is that my relatives seem to think that my family and I are so judgmental that we’ll explode at the slightest mention of something not in line with our personal views.

            I try to be hyper-aware of how much general society and media condemn Christians; I walk through judgment every day, because I don’t try to hide my religion. The problem is this: just as it is unfair to generalize an entire race or political group, so too is it unfair to generalize a religion. I know I’ll get a lot of flak for this, but saying all Christians are small-minded and disparaging is like saying all Muslims are terrorists, or all black people are violent, or all French people are uptight. And God forbid you’re an African-French Muslim. Or a police officer in the United States.

        The solution to this is to realize that each person is different, and it’s not the amount of melanin in your skin, or the entity to whom you pray, or the place where you were brought up that does any of those awful things we hear about on the news. Each person who did those things made the decision to carry out the actions. Was their way of thinking influenced by the subculture of the aforementioned? Possibly. But those individuals made the decision to hurt others on their own. You can’t condemn the village for the actions of the one.

          Just because I have certain beliefs doesn’t mean that I’m not able to listen to— and hopefully understand— other points of view. This is a concept that a lot of people struggle with, and I don’t blame them. It’s hard to understand things you don’t believe, but you can’t respect others if you don’t try to see the world through their eyes. A diamond wouldn’t be as beautiful with only one facet, would it?

           The world is a judgmental place, because we are humans, and all humans judge. We all have first impressions, and we all cast our stones at the celebrities and politicians gracing the criticism-brimming tabloids. It’s in our nature, just like it’s ingrained in our hearts to protect our own.

With Respect,

Joélle.