Hello, It's Joelle

     Happy Monday! I'm not feeling well, so I don't have a deeply thought-out post this week; HOWEVER, I was recently scrolling through my old videos on YouTube (you should check them out!) and stumbled across this lovely gem:

       Ironically, I recorded this
song when I had quite the snuffly
cold, so I suppose the  theme of
today's blog is don't let your 
circumstance back you into a
corner.

       As the journalist Germany Kent once said, “It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.”

         Make sure to take care of the big three— mind, body, and spirit— while making sure one is never neglected for another. It's important to take care of yourself in all aspects, especially your spirit: your soul, your love, and your joyfulness.

       If I hadn't done something to lift my mood that day, I would have been letting my body overtake my spirit; after I finished recording, I rested for two days after to make sure my body was able to get better, too. I've learned over the years that a lifted spirit and a joyful, grateful heart will do more to heal your mind and body than other, more logical things might. What makes you truly joyful? 

        Joy isn't the same as happiness, it's a feeling of grateful excitement that comes from within, not from the things around you.

          Remember, love yourself.

                            —Joelle

I Love Myself

      Happy (Almost-) Valentine's day! I have a question for you: do you love yourself?*

         It's a valid question, with a difficult answer. Maybe you like your personality, but not your physical body (that would be me, hellooo). 

         Maybe there are parts of yourself that you pray never see the light of day. Maybe you have an addiction. Maybe you self-harm. Maybe you starve yourself. Maybe you do all of this because you're listening to the demon in the mirror that tells you you're not good enough.

    There is an idea in psychology called "self-concept" that condenses a lot of our self-deprecation into a short sentence:

self-con·cept
noun
1. An idea of the self; constructed from the beliefs one holds about oneself and the responses of others.

      Don't let an idea of the self manipulate who you really are. You can love yourself, because God loves you, no matter who you think you are. You may think you're not worth it, but you are. When that demon in the mirror starts to talk, you shout back at it and say, "I am worth it! I am valuable! I love myself, I value myself!"** You are a creature of unique and beautiful design, and no one else has your soul.

       This Valentine's day, and EVERY day, make sure you take care of yourself and encourage yourself. Think about it this way, in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt— "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."— not even you. 

*BTS - Answer: Love Myself
**Hailee Steinfeld - Love Myself

What Is Your Quintessence?

          Hi. My name is Joelle, I'm 24, and music is the only thing in life that has ever made me quintessentially* ecstatic. I've been told I make very interesting faces at concerts (shrugs awkwardly).

       Music saved my life. When I was 16, I had to stop my dance career because of a sustained injury, and I fell into a horribly dark mentality. When I started writing music, my life had meaning again, and now I know that I'm meant to do something with music.

       The world needs music; something that transcends language, culture, belief, and opinion-- something that brings people together. And I intend to contribute to that. 

          Please join me on my journey; I can't do this alone. God has given me the ability to create, and I just wish I knew how to share that. At the moment, I can barely get people to share my two official songs. They listen, and then they forget. I need to figure out how to get the opposite result: sharing, being inspired and thinking and moving forward.
           It takes a village; we need to support each other. Is there anything I can encourage you with? Email me or comment below.
           Share your dreams and make them stronger!

           With encouragement, 
           Joelle


P.S. 
My new braces have moved my teeth just enough that the molars don't currently touch enough to chew, so I now want to impart unto you, my dear reader, the joy for and realization of the extreme under-appreciation that we as a species have for chewing. 
Thank you.


* Quin·tes·sence   /ˌkwinˈtesəns/   noun. 
1. The most perfect example of something.
2. The central, most refined essence of an idea or substance.

Who Is Joelle?

         Since this is 2019, I suppose I should introduce myself for this year. Hi, I'm Joelle. I'm eclectic. I like cats, dragons, green apples, chocolate, and fantasy stories. As a musical artist, I stylize my name as Joélle.

         I love music.

         I have to get braces in a couple days and I really don't want them, mostly because flossing is already a nightmare and now it's going to be a night terror (at least they're clear?...).

        I have a black persian cat named Micia (MEE-chah) who I love most dearly and talk about far too much in regular conversation because she's GREAT and obviously everyone else in the world needs to know just how GREAT she is, too. 

     I have insomnia, major depressive disorder (MDD), and ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis, a.k.a. chronic fatigue for all of you who are thinking, 'seriously, she's using medical jargon now? I clicked on this 'cause I thought it would be interesting, not another grumblegrum*...').

          I have fibromyalgia (muscle + joint pain/weakness), tremors, and finally, the real kicker: neurological auto-immune disease (we think). Now you may be thinking about how sorry you are for me, but please stop and read my wording above one more time. 

       I HAVE insomnia, and I have auto-immune disease, but they don't have me. Sometimes they pull me under a bit and I need some time to swim back up, but I like swimming. Supposedly, some people want to hear about my life and my thoughts and my perspectives, so I'm going to try to update this blog every Sunday. (Shoot. *Looks at calendar and cringes*)
        If you're interested, follow me. :) I hope we can have a lot of fascinating discussions over the year of 2019.

             Hugs,
                Joelle

*GRUMBLEGRUM [noun.]

 Joellenese for the "muttering of unsavory words under one's breath".

I Can Barely Take It Anymore.

DEAR
     Heart:
           I'm sick. Again. Sick of being sick, sick of my physical body, sick of never having any control over the bimonthly colds I get.

       I'm tired. Tired of being worn out, tired of never sleeping, tired of being an insomniac with an overactive imagination, tired of the daily trials of life.

         I'm finished. Finished with the world, finished with doctors, finished with people, finished with those who spread lies about me fabricating my illness.

         I'm broken. My immune system is broken, my mind is broken, my body is broken, my happiness is broken. I can barely take it anymore.

          So I do the only thing I can; I worship. I pray, I give thanks, I lift my hands and feel the music around me and close my eyes. I'm filled with peace. No, it's not coming from me, it's being given to me. And I know that no matter how hard today, tomorrow, and the day after that will be, I will always be able to find something to give my mind and my soul peace.

           Because like the song says, we are broken together.

With Brokenness,

Joélle.

PENTATONIX: Yea, or Nay?

DEAR
     Music lovers:
            Pentatonix is taking the music world by storm, and that storm is producing some friction.

           Following the release of their fourth studio album, the self-titled Pentatonix, a slew of reviews came out. While most were very supportive of the a capella group's latest work, some were not, leading to an interesting "battle of the opinions" in the comment sections. One of the more notorious of these reviews is that of Rolling Stone's Brittany Spanos, which begins with the statement "a cappella cover stars try singing original compositions with underwhelming results".

            Considering the fact that most music in today's top charts has relatively lame lyrics, I would say that pointing out how "cheesy" the lyrics of some of the songs in this album are is not necessarily a strong point. I believe that the point of "Sing" (the third original track on the new album) is to be cliché, as the entire song feels like a musical throwback of sorts. Quite honestly, the song that features Jason Derulo ("If I Ever Fall in Love", track 8) is lovely, but it doesn't stand out to me; the main reason it is brought to anyone's immediate attention is because it has a famous name attached to it.

             Then there's the whole "PTX vs Demi" discussion swirling through most of the online forums, which brings me to a tangent. The main problem here is that people forget that comparison is the thief of joy, as the infallible Mr. Roosevelt would say.

            Let's start with this: I love both Demi Lovato and Pentatonix, and consider them to be in my top five when it comes to musical influences. Everyone is discussing how Demi Lovato's latest album "Confident" and Pentatonix's aforementioned album are both vying for the top spot on the Billboard 200 chart, and it's gotten a little rough between fandoms.

             In reply to the people saying Demi put "more work" into her album, I'd say it takes a lot of work for Pentatonix to write, arrange, learn, and put together their music, too. Both albums were mostly written by the titular artists themselves, which is rare in today's popular music world. Also, to people saying Demi is "more talented" than Pentatonix; I, the writer of this article, am a singer, and have covered both groups' music, and let me tell you, it takes a lot of talent, technical know-how, and tons of practice to do what either of them do. It's DIFFICULT, to say the least. Demi and PTX worked hard, and have gone through a lot to get where they are, and I deeply respect both musical artists.

             To bring this full circle, I think Pentatonix's new album is a nice mix of genres and sounds, and it's great that a capella is getting so much more attention in mainstream media. The fact that no a capella group has really gotten so much attention before is causing a lot of interesting friction, and it's nice to see that many music lovers are expanding their horizons. The point of Pentatonix is to be able to spread the love of music, and blend, seperate, and use technicalities of the voice to create one full sound-- and I think they're definitely well on their way to that goal.

[Official Video] Sing -- Pentatonix

With Feeling,

Joélle.

Lost In Translation

DEAR
      Young adults:
                It's hard to stop trying to find validation through others.

               It's hard when you know you have worked every day, every year, and you try and fail over and over again. It's hard to pick yourself up and keep going after every fall. It's hard when you finally get somewhere, only to be ignored by the very people you are trying to impress.

           I'm turning twenty-one in two weeks, and I still have no idea what I am supposed to do with my life. I sing, I write, I draw, I paint, I create. And yet, I have no understood purpose in life; no path to follow. All I know is that I will not be able to move through life unless I continue to create.

             I feel like someone has put me in a helicopter, flown me out to sea, and dropped me in the center of a vast ocean. There is nothing in sight. I do not know what is beneath me. I can't see anything coming toward me. I am struggling to stay above the waves. There is nothing to swim toward, nothing to measure against. I am alone.

           The only thing that I know is there is the sky, but even the sky changes. Sometimes it's filled with light, and sometimes it's dark. Sometimes I see the stars and the moon, and sometimes it's raining, and I cry along with the clouds. The only constant is the rising and setting of the sun, even if it's obscured, because I know it's there.

             What I'm trying to say is, my life is the ocean, and this is how I feel. I am overwhelmed and lost, and the only thing I know for certain is that God, the sun, is somewhere nearby.

           I don't know how to end this post, because I am so tired and sad and emotionally dry right now. I suppose I simply wanted to write out my state of mind.

                It's storming in the sea of my mind right now, and I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Normally, I'd post something positive about how to get out of the storm, but I have to admit that I can't get out of mine right now. I think it's time I admitted that I am just as lost and broken as so many other people, and I simply needed to share my turmoil. Maybe we can help each other.

                 Da duit.

With I Can't Even Right Now (Seriously),

Joélle.

Loo Thoughts

DEAR
      Bathroom Thinkers:
           It is so freaking hard to play the guitar. Everyone lied when they said it was easy. I have been practicing like crazy! In the Christmas spirit, here's a pretty guitar version of O Holy Night. I feel like classical guitar is underrated. It's harder, but it's so beautiful.

           Poemmas now continues! Here is a very strange free-write I did in the women's restroom in university. Everyone else chose places to write that were more outside the box. I thought inside the box for once-- or rather, the cubicle, as it were. And yes, you read me right, the restroom. Washroom. Loo. Bathroom. Toilet. Yup. Enjoy:

Loo Thoughts

       Muttering to oneself, rifling through bags, dropping with a clatter. Voices ricocheting off the walls, keys dangling with a clash-- so many sounds. Chance meetings when the door is touched from both sides at once, running water dancing over all other noise. Whispered phone conversations held in the far corner, foolishly assuming tiled privacy. Chapstick running away, red-yellow-red, chased by only visible fingers, hoping it won’t go too far. Rushing feet in colorful straps shuffling, hurrying, waiting, trapping, snapping at the door.

       Then silence. But the silence isn’t really; air swirls in from high above, circular muttering. Claps and voices seep under the door, from so far away; removed. Sound reigns in this room of squares, the only place where sight is second. Monotony is torn by new arrivals, slowing down as though this is a restful place. Noses rubbed raw sniffle with abandon, feeling free to be loud among the tiles. Sweeping screechily lightly spreads, echoes spiraling through. Rips and rustles, bangs and splashes, sighs as mirrors catch someone in passing.

       Why do we feel different here? Really, we are less exposed in our carpeted halls, where footsteps make much less sound. 

With Clean Hands,

Joélle

IT'S DECEMBER?! (Christmas and Apples Galore)

DEAR
      Fellow PSL lovers:
             It's the crazy, overly-commercialized season of cold and snow and cookies! Yay. Anywho, I have decided that it's time I picked up blogging again. I need to do something constructive, right? I decided to post a new poem every day until Christmas to celebrate noticing the beauty around you in everything. After that, I'll be posting poems regularly, just not every day. Hope you like them!

            Quickly, though, OH MY GREAT GOLLY GOODNESS, you must check out some fantastic Christmas music by my favorite acapella group, Pentatonix. Click here to listen to the gorgeous Pentatonix Xmas Music!

         Annnnd here is poem number one! Enjoy. Share this blog (and the Xmas playlist!) with your friends, it would be greatly appreciated!

The first red bite was love without sight; 

crisp, bright. The colors of autumn 

flooded my mouth– the taste of 

cold sunshine as it drips, 

shimmering, between 

my stiff fingers 

as they reach 

for the 

branch.

Apple 

         Yes, the title is at the end. I love poems, because you can change the rules any way you like! And apples are red. That's Christmassy, right? ;)

With Plenty of Spice And Everything Nice,

Joélle.