Firstly, IT'S HALLOWEEN!!!! I've dressed up as a jester and as Tinkerbell. How about you?
Anyway, on to the serious shtuff. I've been thinking deeply recently (never a good thing), and I absolutely do not like the sound of my
voice. Scientifically, that’s normal. But still, shouldn’t I at least be able
to cope with it a little? I am a singer, for sadness’ sake. Sheesh.
I was discussing things with my vocal coach
a couple weeks ago, and she said, “There’s really not all that much I can teach you. I’m
just here to direct you and coach you here and there.” That made me feel like
my hard work all last summer had paid off, but then I started thinking about it
in a different way.
I know I can sing. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve
got a good ear, I can play a bunch of instruments, I know how to sing in key.
Technically, I’ve got it all down. The problem is, I just don’t have that extra
‘oomph’ that some people talk about when discussing singers they love. My voice
in general? Really quite average. There is nothing extremely special about it; I don’t have some sort
of cool tone, I don’t have funky vibrato, I don’t really have super unique styles.
Which, of course, bothers me greatly.
I have a friend who is a fabulous singer,
and she has a lovely voice- you know, one of those voices you can only be born
with. Quite honestly, I am SO JEALOUS. However, her mother often mentions how
she concentrates on her songwriting instead of her technical singing (the stuff
I have down). Ideally, if you glued our DNA together, we’d be a singing
machine: natural talent and technical knowledge all rolled into one.
I know I beat myself down sometimes, but I
suppose it keeps me humble. After realizing how I feel about all of this, am I
going to stop singing? Hell, no! I am going to continue working even harder
than I have been to get to where I dream of being: onstage; in a recording
studio; working with other artists. Yes, I don’t have an amazing voice. But I
can learn how to do amazing things with my voice. Music is my obsession. I even
believe it may be my calling, so I’m going to keep following it until (or
unless) something else calls me. Though truthfully, I hope nothing else calls
me.