What Is Depression?

it’s not all in your head.

Or rather, it is mostly in your head, but literally (not just figuratively). For the longest time, I thought that the feeling of hopelessness and apathy was something I couldn't control. It would just creep up on me, even when I was happy and had no reason to be sad at all.* It was infuriating because I couldn't make it go away, and I couldn't come to understand it.

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I felt invaded, violated by something invisible that some would say was 'all in my mind'. Noticing something internal like this when you're 14 years old and are already terrified of how the world around you works is debilitating.

I didn't know how to handle it, so I muddled through the next four years; I cried, learned lessons, went to college, and lost hold of my dancing dreams—

all with the black, smokey shadow of depression swirling through me invisibly. Then I was eighteen, and I was finally diagnosed with clinical depressive disorder. I researched it after my doctor said that it wasn't just me creating the sadness.

Scientific studies show so much more! For instance, did you know:

1. 'Experts believe stress can suppress the production of new neurons (nerve cells) in the brain'.* Neurons are what make the brain work properly, and if you have depression, you probably need something to spur on neurogenesis*.

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Neurotransmitters.

2. In people with depression, the levels of certain brain chemicals might be out of balance, particularly these neurotransmitters*: serotonin (which regulates mood, emotion, and sleep); dopamine (which affects movement, attention, and pleasure); and norepinephrine (which regulates arousal, sleep, attention, and mood)*.

Wow! It feels like college again. In any case, my poor little brain, while feeling much better emotionally, is now exhausted past the point of being science-y any longer. I hope this will help if you have any friends or family who can't quite wrap their own heads around what's going on in your head, or if you're trying to understand yourself.

Love and Hugs and Naps (Boy Am I Pooped),

Joëlle

*1."Understanding Anhedonia: What Happens in the Brain?" Tim Newman/Medical News Today. (2018)

*2."What Causes Depression?" Harvard Medical School. (2009) (2017)

*3."What Is Neurogenesis?" University of Queensland. (2017)

*4."What Are Neurotransmitters?" University of Queensland. (2017)

*5."What Causes Depression? Brain Chemistry and Neurotransmitters..." Alison Palkhivala/University Health News. (2019)

The Mysterious Tumblr Dress

DEAR
     Netizens:
            A lot of people are on the internet for wayyyyy to long. This is not good for your eyes. It might take a minute to adjust your eyesight to anything else if you've been staring at a screen for a long time. But this mystical color-shifting dress that Tumblr user swiked uploaded not very long ago has everyone's knickers in a twist, and it has nothing to do with the brightness of a screen. The big question everyone's asking is, "Is it blue and black? Or white and gold?" Just take a look at the viral photo here:

            So, what do you see? Blue and black, white and gold, or periwinkle and brown? I just showed this to my parents. While I saw it as blue and black, my dad saw it in white and gold, and my mom saw the same as me. I closed my eyes for about 30 seconds, looked back at the screen, and while my mom's perception hadn't changed, I then saw what my dad was seeing. I just scrolled up while typing this, and the dress changed color again. After doing a lot of research and seeing this darn dress over and over again, I have now seen it in all three aforementioned color combinations. It's incredible!

             Of course, as I, a self-proclaimed nerd, enjoy doing research, I have discovered this tasty tidbit: apparently, there is some blue-tinted lighting in the photograph, and probably in the store, which most likely spurred on the argument in the first place. Different people have differently wired brains, which adjust to lighting and coloring at different speeds. This dress is just the right colors to flip that switch. 

           You know how you can look at a negative for a while, then look at a white space, and the negative is mentally projected in color? This is a similar principle. Depending on if your brain thinks what it's currently looking at is colored negatively or positively, the dress will appear in two different color sets: white and gold, or blue and black. Your mind is, in a nutshell, acting as a biological version of film tape, and your eyes, the camera, are seeing your head's confusion. 

           After looking through dozens of comments on Buzzfeed, Facebook, and Tumblr, it also appears that the majority of those who see blue and black first are female, and those who see white and gold are male. Females also tend to be able to notice the colors switch more often than males. And some people just can't tell how anyone would see it differently than they do! Interesting, huh? 

         This dress actually can be found on Amazon, and the description says it all: "dress, royal blue". But, you've got to admit, no matter the true color, the reviews and comments are way better! Read them all here!

          UPDATE: I have found an excellent article on wired.com that scientifically debunks the mystery! Read it here.

             So, my dear reader, what do you see when you look at the Mysterious Tumblr Dress?

With Crossed Eyes,

Joélle.